I make the assumption that everyone self-medicates to some extent. Some people do it with alcohol and drugs, some with exercise, many with other obsessions that take them away from themselves or their daily concerns. I self-medicate with games. I know they're not good for me, for my brain, my attention, my focus, and especially for my sleep. And maybe, compared to others, I don't do it "that much," but I do it enough to regret it and to feel controlled by it.
I'm sort of an 'all or nothing' kind of gal. When I was a smoker, I was a smoker until I wasn't. I quite cold turkey, and that was that. I stopped drinking alcohol for a couple of years, when I discovered that it was difficult to maintain abstinence from smoking if I was drinking. I also had that same feeling described above, that it was controlling me, rather than the other way around.
If I want to get clean from sugar, I have to QUIT it. I can't just cut back. There is no such thing in my body and mind as a little refined sugar. I do okay with fruit, but even maple syrup and honey call to me deep in my soul and my gut to have MORE, MORE, MORE, and I create recipes that suit the parameters just so I can eat it.
It's a good thing I've never taken up gambling. I'm sure I would react to it as I do to games, and there my money would go. Even now, without gambling on the games, I hear the voice inside my head: "Good one! Now just one more. See if you can beat that score." or "Oh, that was a terrible score. You can do better than that. Just one more." It's always, "Just one more. Just one more." And there I am at midnight or later playing "just one more" game of Solitaire on my phone, or "just one more" round of TextTwist, or "just one more" Sporcle game.
I know this is my personality, and sometimes I have great periods of productivity when the addictions fall by the wayside and I feel the energy surging through my days. But more often than not, I'm avoiding something by playing games, alone, in a coffee shop or the basement of the house where I'm staying.
I wonder, if I were obsessed by writing music (and this has happened) if I would feel better about the obsession. I probably would. We tend to award what we see as constructive, productive use of time. Playing games produces nothing.
Sometimes I tell myself I'll just play x number of games and then stop. It almost never works. It only works if I'm interrupted or have something extremely appealing to do when I finish x number of games.
I'd love to hear your comments on this situation. Are you one of those people who gets caught up in something non-productive for hours at a time? Or are you someone whose days are disciplined and measured? Do you think it's just a personality difference? Or is it something you have learned to do? How did you do it? Thanks, friends.
I'm sort of an 'all or nothing' kind of gal. When I was a smoker, I was a smoker until I wasn't. I quite cold turkey, and that was that. I stopped drinking alcohol for a couple of years, when I discovered that it was difficult to maintain abstinence from smoking if I was drinking. I also had that same feeling described above, that it was controlling me, rather than the other way around.
If I want to get clean from sugar, I have to QUIT it. I can't just cut back. There is no such thing in my body and mind as a little refined sugar. I do okay with fruit, but even maple syrup and honey call to me deep in my soul and my gut to have MORE, MORE, MORE, and I create recipes that suit the parameters just so I can eat it.
It's a good thing I've never taken up gambling. I'm sure I would react to it as I do to games, and there my money would go. Even now, without gambling on the games, I hear the voice inside my head: "Good one! Now just one more. See if you can beat that score." or "Oh, that was a terrible score. You can do better than that. Just one more." It's always, "Just one more. Just one more." And there I am at midnight or later playing "just one more" game of Solitaire on my phone, or "just one more" round of TextTwist, or "just one more" Sporcle game.
I know this is my personality, and sometimes I have great periods of productivity when the addictions fall by the wayside and I feel the energy surging through my days. But more often than not, I'm avoiding something by playing games, alone, in a coffee shop or the basement of the house where I'm staying.
I wonder, if I were obsessed by writing music (and this has happened) if I would feel better about the obsession. I probably would. We tend to award what we see as constructive, productive use of time. Playing games produces nothing.
Sometimes I tell myself I'll just play x number of games and then stop. It almost never works. It only works if I'm interrupted or have something extremely appealing to do when I finish x number of games.
I'd love to hear your comments on this situation. Are you one of those people who gets caught up in something non-productive for hours at a time? Or are you someone whose days are disciplined and measured? Do you think it's just a personality difference? Or is it something you have learned to do? How did you do it? Thanks, friends.
My "drug" of choice is YouTube videos. I follow quite a few channels ranging from comedy to educational and I do the same as you. Tell myself I can watch "just one more!" until it's 1am and I haven't yet gotten ready for bed. If there are a number of videos I want to watch, sometimes breaking them up with chores or other tasks in between helps. And unless I'm having some scheduled YouTube time, I try not to get comfortable while watching. I might watch standing in the kitchen or sitting on a chair that's not particularly cozy. That seems to help. I'm constantly phasing in and out of YouTube binges. It just depends on what else is going on in my life at the moment.
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