This new life is odd. It's very strange to have the fall things "start up" around me, and not to be a part of it. I like being in a position to serve others -- helping out at Annie's by cooking, doing laundry, and picking up; staying with Kathleen next week as she heals from her surgery; etc. And yet, I know this is a time when I can finally do what I want to do. I just don't know exactly what I want to do. I've been advised to do what gives me joy, and to pursue my gifts. I'm not sure what I need to do to get past the fear I have of pursuing the music that once gave me so much joy. There's a "jump" I need to make into an unknown, but even that is unidentifiable at the moment.
I think of trying to find another home for Remy, but at the moment he is the stable element in my life, always faithful and loving, although irritating to others. I just watched part of an episode of The Dog Whisperer called "The Other Woman," about adjusting a one-person dog to another in the household. I'm going to try to find it on the Internet and watch it again. Cesar says that a dog wants to be part of a pack, and it will take the open position in the hierarchy. If the new person takes a weak position, the dog will be empowered to be aggressive and hold his position. If the new person is firm and dominant, the dog will take his lower position in the pack.
It's hard to train people to be dominant without being violent or mean, though. I guess that's a new mission for me.
I had a great visit with high school friend Tom Fouts yesterday at his beautiful residence at Blue Racer Ranch in South Haven. We talked about all kinds of stuff. It's nice to reconnect with someone with whom I share current interests and ideas.
I think of trying to find another home for Remy, but at the moment he is the stable element in my life, always faithful and loving, although irritating to others. I just watched part of an episode of The Dog Whisperer called "The Other Woman," about adjusting a one-person dog to another in the household. I'm going to try to find it on the Internet and watch it again. Cesar says that a dog wants to be part of a pack, and it will take the open position in the hierarchy. If the new person takes a weak position, the dog will be empowered to be aggressive and hold his position. If the new person is firm and dominant, the dog will take his lower position in the pack.
It's hard to train people to be dominant without being violent or mean, though. I guess that's a new mission for me.
I had a great visit with high school friend Tom Fouts yesterday at his beautiful residence at Blue Racer Ranch in South Haven. We talked about all kinds of stuff. It's nice to reconnect with someone with whom I share current interests and ideas.
Just like before I left on my travels, I'm stuck in what's easy, spending time alone during the day while Annie and the kids are at school, and having trouble motivating myself to do things that are in my own favor. Maybe it's time for some more therapy.
Today looks like a predominantly rainy day. I believe, before the rain comes, I'll get on my bike and go someplace ... maybe head out to the Marne trail and go for a while. It won't matter if I get wet. If I had a car, I'd go to the beach. This is probably the last day hot enough to be able to swim in Lake Michigan this season. Ah, well. Enjoying the day.
No comments:
Post a Comment