Pre-Halloween

It's really fascinating how a different part of the country elicits a different sense of spirit. There's something about this area, like New Orleans, that makes ghosts and spirits believable. Perhaps it's partly the ghostly trees left standing with their whitened branches reaching out. Perhaps it's the mists that come up from the bayous (although it's pretty dry here right now). Perhaps it's the gut-level knowing that the moisture and humidity turn dead things quickly back into living things, by encouraging the growth of other living things.

Whatever the reason, there's a sensual creepiness as Halloween approaches.

I've looked on line. There are a few family Halloween activities in Bay St Louis, but lots in NOLA. I'd be up for taking my/our first trip to NOLA on Monday to check it all out. But it might be kind of a zoo. Also, while my valkyrie costume is usually more than appropriate for this time of year, it may be a tad uncomfortably warm for Mississippi and Louisiana at the moment. It's unseasonably warm and dry here.

It's another gorgeous day. I've listened live on the computer to Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me! from Michigan Radio, had my breakfast and coffee, and let Remy out in the backyard to do his thing. It's 10:19 Central Time, and I need to get motivated to do something today. Perhaps one thing would be to check out the third florist I found to see whether they're any busier than the other two. If not, I may have look into Gulfport or Slidell, or even NOLA. I did discover some more liberal churches in NOLA. Might check one of them out sometime soon. There really isn't anything in Bay St Louis that appeals to me. The closest would be United Methodist, but just because I grew up with it doesn't mean it speaks to me anymore. The main churches around here are Catholic, Baptist, and Methodist. I saw one Episcopal church, and there's one on our street that's C.O.G.I.C. (which I think means Church of God in Christ).

I do like writing, and that's something I could do every day; but I always did better at this when I had a specific assignment. When everything is open, I get stuck pretty easily. In fact, I even enjoyed researching to write papers, as long as I knew where I was headed with the information.

I've been trying not to buy too much stuff, and thinking about how it all gets repacked when I pick up an item. I may end up with some things on the top of the van when I head back north in the spring. Now that I've purchased a futon mattress I really like, I don't want to sell it here and buy another at my next destination. I want to figure out how to carry it along. The metal cabinet I brought from Michigan has been very useful. It's kind of a kitchen cabinet, but I'm keeping clothes in it in lieu of a dresser. Haven't decided yet whether the card table and chairs I ordered will end up in my room or in the main part of the house. I certainly have room for it in here, and it would give me a work space. We'll see.

I think Rick and i are getting a little more comfortable with the way the other does things. And of course I've spent some time letting go of his critical comments and recognizing that they are more a reflection of him than of me. This is, of course, always the case with people; but if we're oversensitive we take things personally.

I continue to practice Duolingo Spanish, and some guitar scales and chords (mostly getting my fingers used to is again) daily. Remy seems happy here. He likes being able to spend so much time with me in a more relaxed fashion, not moving from place to place every day or two, as we were doing most of the summer.

The summer's adventures were so filled with people I love and enjoy that I'm feeling a little deprived at the moment. I asked Rick what he's done for holidays in the past, when he wasn't living near family. When he lived in Sheridan, Wyoming, he adapted quickly and was invited by friends to join in their holiday celebrations. It's still possible that might happen here before Thanksgiving, but I find myself mapping the distance to Cary, NC, and places in Florida where I know people. And I'm looking ahead at the long-range weather forecasts to see whether driving to Michigan or New York at Christmas is a possibility.

as they say on Wait! Wait!, if any of these things happen, we'll tell you about it here ... Stay tuned.

Home: some thoughts 6 months later

One doesn't have to live in a place for long, I have found, to find the home-like feeling of it. I was only in LA for a week, and I found I wanted to stay. I feel at home in LA, and in Ithaca, but of course there are family members there. I feel at home in Asheville and, to some extent in Cary, NC, but there are friends and family there, as well. And now, I have been in Bay St Louis for a week - I arrived last Tuesday - and I'm starting to feel "at home" here.

The effort is not done, of course. There is a continuing necessity to reach out beyond the walls of the house in which we live, and beyond the daily walks and rituals of grocery shopping and buying essentials.

I have been to the library several times. i have been to the school district offices and will visit the individual schools to see if I can volunteer. I checked out one florist and spotted another that I will stop and visit tomorrow. i chatted with a woman at the bakery who lives a few blocks closer to the ocean on the same street as I, and who invited me to stop by.

Tonight, at the computer (now that we have Internet at home), I will map a bike route that circumnavigates Bay St Louis. Perhaps it will become a daily ride.

I think I'll check out the Rotary Club meeting tomorrow at noon at the yacht club. If it ends up being something that requires a lot of money, I won't join, but if they just need a contribution of time, perhaps I will. I'll hand out business cards, too.

Home. A place becomes home as I get to know my way around and recognize landmarks. It becomes home when I can call people by name and have shared experiences with them. It feels like home when my personal space looks and smells and feels comfortable. I got my futon mattress today and napped on it this afternoon. Home. We have Internet and can communicate in a variety of ways from the house. Home.

When I lived with Annie, I loved being with her and her family; but it wasn't ever home because we always knew I wasn't staying. I definitely could have a home with her or with them, but it wasn't planned that way this time around. Nevertheless, I became more and more at home on the West Side, an area I'd never lived in before.

We get so comfortable in our small spaces, and we fear stepping out into the unknown. What this experience has taught me is that it doesn't take long to become familiar with a new place and with new people, and from familiarity comes a sense of belonging, and then ... Home.

Riding with butterflies

I left Grand Rapids on Monday, October 17. The van was thoroughly loaded with my possessions, but I'd carefully left room on top of the piles to be able to see out adequately. I was really quite proud of the packing job. It was a very windy trip through looonnnggg Illinois, mostly; and I decided to, rather than sleep in the car in a rest area, stay in a hotel and really get a decent night's sleep, so Remy and I stopped off at Hernando, Mississippi. In other words, in one day we had traveled through Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri (a tiny little piece), Arkansas (an almost as tiny piece), Tennessee, and Mississippi. Remarkable!

After all that driving and all those states, it was hard to imagine that I still had about 5 1/2 hours to go to reach Bay St Louis, but it was true, in part because it wasn't all Interstate as I got closer to my destination. 

When we arrived, the air was hot and muggy. Moving things into the house was a sweaty proposition. Rick had saved me the back, large bedroom. And I do mean large. I could live in this bedroom, as long as I had a little bathroom and kitchen area. The house looks pretty small from the front, but it extends back a long way. Lots in this area are large. Some houses sit on a double lot, but most of the homes are close to the road which is a narrow and moderately well-traveled two-lane with no sidewalk for at least the 4 or 5 blocks in each direction from us. This makes dog-walking a bit of a challenge, but we're managing. Apparently, most people solve this problem by not walking their dogs. Most dogs are chained up or fenced in and don't go anywhere.

That first evening, Rick and Remy and I biked to the ocean access at the end of our street. If you stand in the middle of Washington St in front of our house, you can see the Gulf. I haven't taken a picture of it because it's really hard to tell what you're seeing in a photo. In real life, you can see the sparkle and know that it's the ocean right there!

The boardwalk at the beach at the end of Washington St.

A view from the southwest of the bay bridge that crosses the neck between the Gulf and Bay St Louis. This bridge was washed out by Katrina and rebuilt, as was the railroad bridge that runs next to it. There is a designated and guarded bike lane across this bridge!

Rick and I spent the first few days shopping for things we needed, but trying to be very frugal and circumspect about what we might or might not be able to take with us. For instance, I found a decent couch for $40, and when we go I'll try to sell it for $20. I got a microwave, which is missing it's turntable plate, for $20; but guess what! A normal plate or mug turns just fine without the manufacturer's plate. I'd still really like to find a dining table and a couple of chairs, but I'm not willing to pay more than about $50 or $60 for it, and so far nothing has turned up under $100. For now, we'll sit in camp chairs and eat at TV trays (Walmart - there's no Target or Meijer or any other substitute for Walmart around here - about $6 each). 

I have ordered an innerspring futon mattress from Amazon, and it should be here Wednesday. I've been sleeping on my camping air mattress, which must have a small leak because I air it up every night, and each morning it has gone down at least a little. I've also ordered some healthy dog food, because there are few pet supply places in Bay St Louis or nearby communities. In fact, I've been accessing the Internet at the library, but it's not open today, so I'm in Slidell, LA, at the closest Starbucks. Okay, Gulfport Starbucks might be just as close, but I've already been to Gulfport twice, so I thought I'd venture out to Slidell.

A couple of days ago, Rick and I decided to go to the Hancock County Farmers Market, for which there are many signs along highway 90 with arrows pointing off to the north. We turned. We looked. We found nothing. Our next stop was the Bay St Louis Visitors Bureau. We asked about the Farmers Market. The assistant knew nothing about that one. She told us about a couple of others. I am still stymied by multiple, official-looking signs directing people to something that doesn't exist.

At the Visitors Bureau, I got a quick look at the history and present of the Bay St Louis area. It was almost closing time, so I didn't spend a lot of time reading the placards. Below are several items from the displays there. 

Born there? Somehow associated with the area.

A tribute to design in the area.

Mardi Gras costumes. Apparently, Bay St. Louis has major parades and floats, just like New Orleans. 

As we were watching TV one night, I saw a piece about Coastal Clean-Up with instructions about how to sign up on line. Like Jim Carrey in "Yes Man", I said "yes!" to this opportunity, and the next day signed up on line at the library. After I'd submitted my form, though, I wasn't sure where to meet. I emailed, and got a response that said, "Meet at Washington St and South Beach Road at 8:00 a.m." Excellent! Right at the end of my street.

It wasn't true. At that location was a Halloween-inspired running race, which I was unprepared to participate in. I saw a Hancock County truck pull in and asked the men in it where I needed to be. They sent me a mile or so down the beach road to Nicholson. By the time I had ridden (my bike) there, most of the rest of the volunteers were already out picking up trash. I started out alone, carrying my trash bag, rubber gloves, little flags (to mark places where there might be medical waste or floundering half-alive wildlife, which I was not to deal with in any way), and form on which to write down what I found.

Volunteers scouring the beach between Nicholson and Coleman.

The most unusual thing I found was a hen's egg -- could have belonged to a sea bird, I suppose, but the size and shape were perfect for a hen's egg, and it wasn't in a nest. Some of the other volunteers saw it, too. We left it because it was biodegradable. 

A pretty normal view of the Gulf from anywhere along the beach road.

A typical dead tree. There are many, of many sizes and shapes, probably killed by Katrina. Some of them have been carved into interesting shapes. There's a photo of one a little later on.

On a drive yesterday, I took some photos of different dwellings in the area. There is a real difference in height. 

This one is right on the beach, and the living space is situated well above where the storm surge is likely to reach.

Here's another, a good way off the ground. This one is several blocks from the beach. Most of the houses near it are high -- maybe 10 feet or so -- off the ground.

This is fairly typical, maybe 24 inches up. Beneath this is a concrete slab. No basements. Our house has this kind of lift, but according to Rick our area suffered very little during Katrina. I guess the neighborhood is already fairly elevated from sea level.

And some houses rest right on the concrete slab without any elevation, at least that's how it looks from the outside. The stoop might be 6 inches high, and then one walks in on that level./ Perhaps some rooms are elevated inside. Hard to tell.

Yesterday was my birthday. I know some of my friends and family were concerned that I wouldn't be able to celebrate properly, being in a new place. So a few days ago, I shared the information with Rick. He immediately proposed that he take me out for dinner. So, after beach clean-up and various household tasks, we got dressed up and went to The Sycamore House for dinner last night. It's a classy venue in a large, old house, as the name implies. I guess they take reservations, but fortunately we didn't need one. We had a corner table where we could observe the people, see all the art on the walls, and enjoy the jazz standards being played as background music. 

I was particularly taken with wreaths made of cotton bolls, alternating with wreaths made of apples.

Cheers!

Until Friday evening, the weather was a bit on the too-hot side for me. This was, in part, because of the lack of screens in the house, and our unwillingness to run the AC all the time because of the cost. We did put it on, at a reasonable level, at night. Then, a cold front went through, and since then it's been divine. 

This morning's reading. The cool, overnight temperatures indicate a cooler, dryer period. I don't think it will get really heavy and humid again till spring. We'll see.

A view of the bay bridge from the southwest as Remy and I rode toward it this morning.

Looking back from the top of the bridge toward Bay St Louis.

A lone sunbather on the sand on the east side of the bay.

Remy and I mounted up in the late morning and rode 7 miles to Pass Christian, on the other side of the bay. The ride was beautiful, not too windy, not too hilly (although the bridge is a bit of a challenge), and not too long. This was the perfect challenge for me, since I've not been riding a lot lately.

The view from the deck of Shaggy's, where I had lunch in Pass Christian.

My meal: 6 oysters in the half shell, seafood salad (with Wasabi dressing), and a BIG glass of water.

One of those carved trees I was telling you about. Why leave ugly, dead trees standing around when you can make art out of them?!

As of today, I had way too much time on my hands. I suppose I could spend all day walking on the beach, biking around town, etc., but I get bored after a while. I did practice my guitar this morning and started Duolingo Spanish again, but I still had time on my hands -- enough time to drive to Slidell to write this blog post! Tomorrow, I'm going to visit a nearby florist and see if they'd like some help. If they don't have a paid position open, I'd at least like to volunteer to help out, and if they need me in a pinch, then they can pay me. I'm also going to check out the library and local schools to see about helping kids with reading. And I'm handing out business cards to people showing that I do ceremonies, and I'm writing on the back about my music experience. I should have some stuff to do before long.

Oh! Alice sent me the coolest wall appliques. I couldn't believe the package arrived today. I guess even in a small town, UPS delivers on Sunday now. Anyway, I'll have poppies to brighten my room. I'm letting the kinks settle out, and then I'll create a flower arrangement on my wall!

I had some adventures with the Michigan Secretary of State, and let me say right off the bat that I really appreciate those people. I had left Michigan without renewing my license plate tabs and license because I thought I'd do that in Mississippi. Once I got here, though, and thought about having to change things up again in 6 months, I decided to leave it as it is. Suddenly, it was the day before my birthday, and nothing had been done. Two wonderful people at the SOS helped me out. The tabs are on their way, and I have a 180-day extension on my license, BUT there are no further extensions available, to I have to be back in Michigan by or before April 20 to renew my license. 

So, I guess you Michiganders can plan on seeing me then, unless you want to visit. We have an extra bedroom. After I get my futon, my air mattress will be available for guests. It won't be Mexico, but it will be nice here, and we're only an hour from New Orleans. I'll tell you more about that when we have a chance to get over there for a look-see.

Getting ready to take off again

My very gracious and generous friend, Annie, has been letting me stay with her and her kids ever since I returned to GR at the beginning of August. I've been in and out, of course, but her home has been my home while I've been here. Annie bought a house (she'd been renting) a few weeks ago, and much of how I've been occupying my time has been helping her get moved. That activity continues. Part of my commitment to this has to do with the fact that Annie has been storing a lot of my stuff. I moved some of it to Ithaca, particularly things that I might want if/when I settle there. Annie still has several boxes and bins that she'll keep in her garage for me, as well as the two middle seats from my van. And the rest either goes with me or to Goodwill.

Tomorrow, I'll start actually loading stuff into the van to see how it all fits. I've bought some new plastic bins, and I'm going to label and pack carefully so that I can get to everything I need easily. Remy has been spending time in his "kennel," which is actually the bike cart without the wheels. He seems quite comfortable with it. He likes having a "time out" place to go when things get too stressful. (Don't we all!) I believe this adjustment will make it possible for us to spend many more happy years together.

I hope, if I can't fit it in the van, that Annie will be able to store and/or use the beautiful metal cabinet I inherited from my folks. The only other piece of furniture is an IKEA chair and matching stool. If I can take these things with me, I will, as it looks as though I'll be living in an unfurnished place.

Rick has left Tennessee and driven to Bay St. Louis, MS, in order to actually find something, put a deposit down and get a commitment from a landlord. It's possible to look at places on the Internet, but he was having a hard time getting a commitment from anyone. If we get the place we've been looking at, we won't be able to get in till mid-November. In that case, I will make another drive to LA to spend my birthday with Alice and probably stay through Halloween. If, on the other hand, Rick finds something else that we can get into more quickly, I will leave here and drive down to join him.

One of the places he called about had only a six-month lease, which seems like a good idea at this point, since we don't know if we'll like Mississippi or even each other after six months. Plus, I'll be spending some time up north next summer, in any case.

Stay tuned to see what actually happens.

Below is a collection of photos from recent weeks that I haven't shared with you yet. Captions will fill you in.

Even the bathrooms are creative and beautiful at Mackenzie Childs in Aurora, NY.

On the drive to Ithaca, all was green. Just a few days later, the fall colors abound!

Remy stayed in Grand Rapids, so when I returned, he decided to make a bed in my suitcase so I couldn't leave without him again.

A downpour filled the street outside Annie's old house. I splashed in the puddles with these boys from the neighborhood before showing them how to clear the gutters.

Remy always finds a good patch of sunlight. This is at Annie's new house.

Found this newspaper article from the early '60's in Evanston, IL. I'm second from the left in the front row. This was one of the first groups to play Suzuki violin.

Today's visit to Kirk Park revealed this mass of burgeoning fungi.

I hadn't seen Lake Michigan yet this summer, so I thought I'd better have a look before I leave.

Even a dog who doesn't like the water can enjoy the beach. And this human, who does like the water, was happy to discover that it wasn't too cold to walk in. 

View from the deck at Kirk Park. I sat quietly and meditated for about 15 minutes. 

Self-medicating

I make the assumption that everyone self-medicates to some extent. Some people do it with alcohol and drugs, some with exercise, many with other obsessions that take them away from themselves or their daily concerns. I self-medicate with games. I know they're not good for me, for my brain, my attention, my focus, and especially for my sleep. And maybe, compared to others, I don't do it "that much," but I do it enough to regret it and to feel controlled by it.

I'm sort of an 'all or nothing' kind of gal. When I was a smoker, I was a smoker until I wasn't. I quite cold turkey, and that was that. I stopped drinking alcohol for a couple of years, when I discovered that it was difficult to maintain abstinence from smoking if I was drinking. I also had that same feeling described above, that it was controlling me, rather than the other way around.

If I want to get clean from sugar, I have to QUIT it. I can't just cut back. There is no such thing in my body and mind as a little refined sugar. I do okay with fruit, but even maple syrup and honey call to me deep in my soul and my gut to have MORE, MORE, MORE, and I create recipes that suit the parameters just so I can eat it.

It's a good thing I've never taken up gambling. I'm sure I would react to it as I do to games, and there my money would go. Even now, without gambling on the games, I hear the voice inside my head: "Good one! Now just one more. See if you can beat that score." or "Oh, that was a terrible score. You can do better than that. Just one more." It's always, "Just one more. Just one more." And there I am at midnight or later playing "just one more" game of Solitaire on my phone, or "just one more" round of TextTwist, or "just one more" Sporcle game.

I know this is my personality, and sometimes I have great periods of productivity when the addictions fall by the wayside and I feel the energy surging through my days. But more often than not, I'm avoiding something by playing games, alone, in a coffee shop or the basement of the house where I'm staying.

I wonder, if I were obsessed by writing music (and this has happened) if I would feel better about the obsession. I probably would. We tend to award what we see as constructive, productive use of time. Playing games produces nothing.

Sometimes I tell myself I'll just play x number of games and then stop. It almost never works. It only works if I'm interrupted or have something extremely appealing to do when I finish x number of games.

I'd love to hear your comments on this situation. Are you one of those people who gets caught up in something non-productive for hours at a time? Or are you someone whose days are disciplined and measured? Do you think it's just a personality difference? Or is it something you have learned to do? How did you do it? Thanks, friends.

Another (short) road trip

Yesterday, I went off again, this time in my new vehicle (a Honda Odyssey van) and without Remy (who stayed in GR with Betsy -- thank you, Betsy!) and through Canada again. First hiccup: I brought my old passport and didn't realize it till I was in line to enter Canada. The Canadian guard, of course, was cool with the situation. I had the old passport and my driver's license. She let me in. I said, "What do you think will happen at the other side?" She shrugged. I said, "It will probably just take a long time, right?" She smiled. "Probably."

Second hiccup. I stopped at an "En Route" oasis in Canada for snacks and gas, two separate purchases. I got the snacks okay, but the gas pump wouldn't take my card. There was a sign on the pump saying that sometimes American cards didn't work, to pump the gas and come inside. I did. It didn't work inside, either. As much as i appreciate the credit card company keeping tabs on suspicious expenditures, it's kind of a pain when it happens to me on a trip. Anyway, I got it straightened out and went on my way.

When I came to the US border, I explained what had happened to the guard, and he was very gracious and helpful. I asked whether he thought I should return through the states. He said it was up to me, but there were some "jerks" in the staff, and I could get one of them, which would make the process more difficult returning. I think I'll probably go around the lake.

It's really nice being able to stay with Abby and see her more, even though she has to work quite a few hours. Last night, we watched part of I, Robot before we got sleepy and went to bed. We hung out a little this morning, before she had to go to work. Then I headed up to Cortland, bought three plastic containers and some DampRid to protect the music books and compositions I wanted to store at Adam's. Adam carried the boxes into the garage (which I really appreciated, since I had loaded them all in Grand Rapids), while I moved the paper stuff from cardboard boxes to plastic bins.

On a whim, I stopped at Adam's parents' place on my way back and had a cup of tea with his mom. That was great! We needed to touch base, to share our excitement, and to exchange information and ideas about the wedding.

I had lunch at the north location of the Ithaca Bakery, and then I spent the afternoon (and evening) at Abby's looking up wedding information. When Abby got home a little while ago, we went over more questions and thoughts about the planning -- a wedding is an inexhaustible source of conversation -- and now we're finishing I, Robot.

She has to work again tomorrow, and there's a great event celebration the opening of a completed bike and pedestrian trail, so I'll probably attend that, weather permitting. The Farmers Market is also open tomorrow, and I always enjoy the Ithaca market.

Abby and I plan to go into Syracuse for some wedding dress shopping on Monday, and I will leave Tuesday morning to return to GR.

Here are some pictures from the trip.

Seen today in Cortland. My friend, Allison Van Skiver, says she doesn't have any relatives around here, but we both thought this was interesting.

A study in perspective.

Abby and Eloise ignoring each other.

Like a Grant Wood painting, Adam at the wedding site on the St. Lawrence River.

Birthday girl (September 27), taken by Adam.

Enjoyed on my walks through Annie's old neighborhood.

These, too.