I guess I oughta write something. I didn't write yesterday.
I like Ithaca, but I need something to do. I like being near Abby, but I don't want to take up all of her free time. Alice was good about that while I was in LA, too, but they have their own lives and their preferred ways of spending time.
Today, Abby mentioned that she kind of missed having me be in Grand Rapids because now there wasn't anyplace to go "home" to there. She still likes Grand Rapids, and there are many friends and family there, but no "home."
I have a sense that Alice feels the same way, but she hasn't said it in so many words.
I don't know if they remember me asking for just this sort of feedback before I put my house on the market and sold it, but I did. And I had a sense that they might feel this way, but neither of them said it.
Now I am asea. I am going to see how it feels to go back to West Michigan. I'm pretty sure that I won't live in Grand Rapids, but maybe Grand Haven or Kalamazoo. Maybe. The still, small voice said, "Get out of Grand Rapids," but I'm pretty sure it meant W. Michigan. We shall see.
I guess it is important for me to be selfish. My girls have established wonderful lives. I am proud of them and happy for them. I need to have a reason to be someplace. I need to be someplace that can challenge and inspire me. I know that it is up to me to make that happen wherever I am; but I don't feel very inspired by W. Michigan at the moment. I'm much more excited about what Northern California, Southern California, Seattle area, and even Flagstaff have to offer me.
I feel the need to remake myself, to establish myself as someone different from the person that so many people know in West Michigan. That's a lot easier to do in a new place. Of course, there are lots of challenges to going someplace new, as well; but I'm a lot more up for those.
I could live in a northern clime for half the year and a southern one, or as a traveler, for the other half. It's something I was already considering.
I certainly like being someplace where someone I love wants to be with me, see me, and do things with me; and while I have cherished friends in Grand Rapids, it's not the same as having a family member or lover. Sigh.
I like Ithaca, but I need something to do. I like being near Abby, but I don't want to take up all of her free time. Alice was good about that while I was in LA, too, but they have their own lives and their preferred ways of spending time.
Today, Abby mentioned that she kind of missed having me be in Grand Rapids because now there wasn't anyplace to go "home" to there. She still likes Grand Rapids, and there are many friends and family there, but no "home."
I have a sense that Alice feels the same way, but she hasn't said it in so many words.
I don't know if they remember me asking for just this sort of feedback before I put my house on the market and sold it, but I did. And I had a sense that they might feel this way, but neither of them said it.
Now I am asea. I am going to see how it feels to go back to West Michigan. I'm pretty sure that I won't live in Grand Rapids, but maybe Grand Haven or Kalamazoo. Maybe. The still, small voice said, "Get out of Grand Rapids," but I'm pretty sure it meant W. Michigan. We shall see.
I guess it is important for me to be selfish. My girls have established wonderful lives. I am proud of them and happy for them. I need to have a reason to be someplace. I need to be someplace that can challenge and inspire me. I know that it is up to me to make that happen wherever I am; but I don't feel very inspired by W. Michigan at the moment. I'm much more excited about what Northern California, Southern California, Seattle area, and even Flagstaff have to offer me.
I feel the need to remake myself, to establish myself as someone different from the person that so many people know in West Michigan. That's a lot easier to do in a new place. Of course, there are lots of challenges to going someplace new, as well; but I'm a lot more up for those.
I could live in a northern clime for half the year and a southern one, or as a traveler, for the other half. It's something I was already considering.
I certainly like being someplace where someone I love wants to be with me, see me, and do things with me; and while I have cherished friends in Grand Rapids, it's not the same as having a family member or lover. Sigh.
I understand.
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